A week in and out of hospital

So another week is over and I've had a physio appointment, an infusion, a psychology appointment and an unexpected visit to the doctor.

My physio appointment on Monday turned out abut different to usual. I have had some back pain over the last few years but it has gotten considerably worse since January of this year. I normally go to physio and do some exercises or go in the hospital gym but this time, I got told I have over strained he muscles on either side of my spine. As a result of this, I got a deep tissue massage and even more simple exercises.

On Tuesday when I had a regular infusion. It should have taken three and a half hours- which isn't too bad; except, I was there for EIGHT HOURS. In my opinion, that is a ridiculous amount of time. A and E patients are important but so is my infusion. There was three 'emergency' patients or before me on treatment, which resulted in me becomes very, very irritated. Apparently, there was only one doctor that could prescribe in the entire hospital which rather annoyed me. I sat there for three hours with a cannula in my arm before he (the doctor) even came to talk to me. He asked me how my bowels had been and if I had been ill in the last four days and then just walked away and I then waited another half hour to actually start the treatment.

Friday was my psychology appointment. It ran a little bit longer than expected but it was worth while. I always seem happier when I see Neena, which you may have read in a previous post. We spoke about how my exams had finished, my anxiety levels had lowered and my stress wasn't too bad anymore. All the appointments and conversations we've had over the last few months have obviously helped a lot.

My 'emergency' appointment to the local doctors surgery wasn't long but it needed to be done. Two years ago, I had a Barthalins Abscess and I felt the same discomfort as I did two years ago. I went to the doctors to have it checked out and got told that the gland inflammation had returned and I got two weeks worth of Flucloxacillin.

So all in all, it's been an exciting week. I'll catch you up on my upcoming appointments when they happen.

Fatigue

I don't think many people understand the meaning of chronic fatigue. Sure I can get a bit tired, but I'm fine to carry on with my day and the activities ahead, but other days, I can hardly manage to get out of bed. I've come to notice that my fatigue hits worse when I am highly stressed or feel really ill. My pain and lack of enthusiasm puts my days, sometimes even weeks, on hold.

There are days when the pain gets to me but I take 60mg of Codine and go on my way. Other days I have to use a walking stick, which is known by the name of Kevin in my local community. I often just grin and bare it, getting on with my 'normal' life.

What many people don't understand is how much of your time is wasted by fatigue. I, for one, believe in living every moment like it's your last as you don't know what the future has in store; however, sometimes, that's just impossible. I can ache so much at whatever time of the day and not be able to move it's so painful. I don't know why. The physio therapists believe that it might be a muscle problem that links to Crown's disease, I'm not sure of the technical terms for it, all I know is that it can bloody hurt.

My fatigue seems to come around at the most inconvenient times. For instance, I was getting ready to attend my friend's sixteen birthday party when all of a sudden I couldn't couldn't life my hand about my head to brush my hair. I hadn't had a stroke- the hospital checked! My muscles just refused to work. They had promptly crashed out on me and I couldn't show up to a really important occasion for one of my best friends. It was heartbreaking having to tell her I couldn't make it, we had been planning it together for months.

Anyway, back to the point: fatigue is a bitch.

Nobody should have to go through the agony of not having the energy to do anything. Their minds and their bodies are capable, just not at certain times of the day. It's difficult to go through, I'm still trying to manage it: with monthly hospital infusions and fortnightly physio trips, we are hopefully on the mend and my 'chronic fatigue' issue will die it's long, awaited death.