If you smile, the world smiles back

I'm trying my best to be a more positive person...I'm finding it pretty difficult by the way! It's not that I don't wan to be positive, I do, it's more the fact that the world is a pretty rotten place. I have this thing where whenever I think I'm beginning to be happy and everything is just folding together nicely, it goes to shit.

Take my Crohn's for example. I have months of not having a flare and feeling good about my situation. Stool samples are normal and blood tests come back with the right numbers. Stomach pain is at a minimum and my achey joints aren't too inconvenient and then BOOM. Flare. Just when I didn't need it. I was so content with not having to deal with the crap (literally) of Crohn's and then here we are again, back at square one.

Another example is the whole mental health thing. I don't have bad days as often anymore because I think I may have figured out how to work around the black hole that is my brain, but there is always the loop in the distance that is just begging to drag me back to hell. A tiny little voice at the moment can sound like a thousand screaming monsters in my head on a bad day. I can't hear myself think and as I said previously, I get dragged back to hell.

However, my motivations for smiling my way through the day include;

• Payday!
• My dog.
• The love in my mum's eyes when I smile (she gets that proud parent shimmer in her eye whenever me or my brother come home and don't scream the house down in rage).
• The fact that I have such a good support network around me of friends and family that remind me that I have no reason to get angry or upset over the stupid little things. 

I've learnt to be thankful for what I have and for those who help me and that's what gets me through the tough days. If you have people who love you then you are one of the luckiest people on the planet, and that is something to be happy about.

So smile once in a while, the sun will seem brighter, the hugs will seem cosier and everything will be better.